June 1999
The Last Word
Just Make It Up (You Do Anyway) - John Milton Fogg
You may (or may not) know that I've been running a coaching course since January called The Greatest Networker(TM) Mentor Program. It's a six-month intensive that includes: Multiple monthly tele-forum calls and voice-mail broadcasts with industry experts-- my mentors-- and homework assignments which support the subjects we discuss; twice-a-month, hour-long Group Coaching Calls; and daily, 15-minute calls between assigned Call Partners. These daily calls are based on being asked a prepared list of questions and having your partner listen-- really listen-- to your answers.
In the beginning, the Program focuses on personal growth and development issues and, over time, gets more and more into the specifics of business-building and Network Marketing leadership. We start with listening and vision work, and use Call Partner questions designed to reveal what stops people from achieving success in their businesses.
People have all kinds of opinions about themselves, and about life and work and what they think they can and cannot accomplish. The core of these fundamental and controlling thoughts we all have lies in decisions we made as children about what did and didn't work in our lives.
You can discover your fundamental thought by answering the following question: "No matter what I do, it's never... " then fill in the ending.
The thought you have will take one of only two directions, quantity or quality. People think that they are either not enough, or not good enough.
The key point we make in the Mentor Program is that this thought is just an opinion, a decision that's simply not true. You made it up. Sure, at the time, you had all the evidence you needed to make that thought seem real. It's not. It's made up. Yet every adult living today has let this thought-- made up in the mind of a child-- direct and manage his or her life and work as if it was the truth.
Can you change this fundamental thought you have?
Sure. Replace it with one that empowers you, one that serves your success.
Here's a superb example of how these thoughts happen and how you can change them. It comes from Dr. Patricia Brown of the Atlanta Area Psychological Associates. She wrote it for Living Out Loud, a newsletter published by Mike Smith's Center for Leadership Design.
"Once upon a time," I said, "there was a boy about nine...."
"I'm nine!" interrupted Roy importantly.
"Yes," I said, "this boy was just like you, and he had a whole lot of opinions. You remember we talked about what an opinion is?"
"Yes. An opinion is a thought we make up. And then we think it is the truth."
"Good. Well, this boy had opinions about his sister, and about his teacher, and about his parents' divorce, and he was sure his thoughts were the truth."
"My teacher is mean. And if I had done better in school, Mom and Dad wouldn't have argued so much and they would still be married."
"Yes. And I know you think that is true. Well, this boy thought pretty much the same things about his teacher and his parents' divorce. And do you know what? He made up all those thoughts."
"You mean he just... made them up?"
"Yes. And if he made up those thoughts, he could make up other thoughts. Different ones. Different thoughts that would make him feel different."
"How could he think something different if the first thought was right? Like, my teacher is mean to me. I know that, all right!"
"This boy who is like you thought his teacher was mean, too. But what if his teacher really wanted him to do well? What if she wanted him to be the very best? What if she was coaching him to be a champion student? How would she be then?"
"Well... I guess she would be very strict. I guess she would be really disappointed when he didn't do his homework. Maybe she would make him do extra work when he fooled around. Maybe she would tell his parents he could do a lot better so they would make him try to get As."
"Is that like your teacher?"
"Yeah, I guess so."
"And could you have the opinion that she wants you to do well, that she wants you to be a champion, and is very strict because she cares about you being the best? Could you think that instead of thinking that she is mean?"
"Do you think she really wants me to do well, Dr. Brown?"
"What is important is what thought you choose to think."
"I am going to think that. I can get along with her better if I think that she cares."
"OK. Now, about the divorce...."
Dr. Pat is a Master-- certainly as a psychologist, and also as a listener who coaches people to discover the truth for themselves. "What is important," she told little Roy, "is what thought you choose to think."
So, what thoughts are you choosing to think?
How are you as a prospector-- and who are you, as a prospector, too?
What kind of leader are you?
What kind of mentor are you?
Are you the kind of person who can (and does) inspire people to greatness?
What's great about you?
Are you successful?
Do you make a difference?
Remember that your answer to these and any other questions isn't the truth. You make it up-- you make it all up.
If you find you answer one of these questions in a negative or self-defeating way, just know that you made that up. And you can choose a different, better, more positive and empowering thought instead.
Just make it up. Then all you have to do is keep thinking that one. Pretty soon, that will be what's true for you.
-- JMF
To learn more about The Greatest Networker(TM) Mentor Program, and to contact John Fogg, go to www.GreatestNetworker.com.
Reprinted with permission from Upline, The Last Word - June 1999, 888-UPLINE-1, http://www.upline.com
